The Helper of the Religion

Just suppose you are able to make an interview with Mulla Nasreddin. What would you ask him? Perhaps some of your questions are similar to the ones as given below:

Q: Many countries claim you to be their citizen. In different countries like Iran and Turkey the local people say that your grave can be found. Are you a world citizen avant la lettre?
A: Moi? After quitting Bokhara I have repaired first to Istanbul. Then I have disturbed the peace successively in Baghdad, Medina, Beirut and Basra, I caused pandemonium in Damascus, then dropped in at Cairo, where I held the office of chief judge of the city. I will not tell you whom I judged and how I judged, but you may know that I was sought for and hunted all over Egypt for a space of two years. Of course I was far away at the time, travelling in other lands and upon other roads.

Q: Have these travels taken you to the former Soviet Union?
A: It is not called for nothing the FORMER Soviet Union.

Q: Can you prove it that you have been in the former Soviet Union, by telling a tale situated over there?
A: The secretary of the communist party was giving a speech about “Das Kapital” written by Karl Marx. I then stepped forward in order to record this speech. My wife, Guljan, was sitting next to me and was astonished that I liked the speech so very much that I wanted to record it. I told her that I did so, because of a request of someone working in a kindergarten. She needed some lullabies in order to calm the children. I’m sure that this recording will have a similar effect.

Q: But you have never been in China?
A: I have used a different name in China. I am known as Afanti in China. And, yes, here is a tale, which happened in China. One day I urgently needed money but could find no one who could help me. Not knowing what I could do anymore, I began to implore the All-Merciful to give me ten dinars. I added: “If You cannot give them to me outright, I would be satisfied even with a loan”. I had not finished my prayer when I heard somebody knocking loudly at the door. I signalled my wife, Guljan, to go to the door. The visitor was the local official governing one hundred families. “Nasreddin”, he began, “it is necessary again to repair the Niujie mosque of Beijing. Allah, who protects you in every hour of the day, said that your part for the work is five dinars”. I then had to sigh and said: “Alas, what would the imam of the mosque say that Allah asks such a very high interest! He has not loaned me anything yet, and already he wants to be paid back!”

Q: You are a Mulla. There is a religious saying advising us not to complain about time, as it is God. What does it mean?
A: I remember that on a cold winter day people were complaining about the weather. One man said to me: “Many people are never satisfied! They are always complaining about something. In winter they complain and say it is too cold and in summer they say it is too hot!” “Yes,” I told him, but have you not noticed that hardly anyone complains about the spring?”

Q: Anything else you want to say to us?
A: Safar-e mubarak! May your journey be blessed!